Sail Away

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Posts by Sail Away

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  40

  DF’d or DA???

  by DATA-DOG in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so, i think i’m going to be df’d, but elders are out of town and no decision has been officially reached.

  what would happen if i sent a certified overnight letter and said that i was going to disassociate before they have their meeting??.

  i know the two conditions are similar, but i’m just curious... dd.

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  Sail Away

  I chose to send a letter of resignation by way of my attorney. Ultimately the same effect as DF/DA, but I took control of my life. Best thing ever to be free of this cult.
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  21

  Are you affected by Seasonal Affective Disorder?

  by compound complex in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as i intimate in the words below, i like autumn and winter, but there's a downward spiral in my emotions.

  i'm in control, yet, .

  rain, at long last, has touched both our land and my soul.

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  Sail Away

  Yes, everything feels bleak and hopeless. Every year it seems harder to make it through 'til spring.
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  40

  Older JW: not happy

  by Gorbatchov in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this week i visited my sick father in law.. then an old elder from my far away congregation came in for coffee.

  did not see him in 15 years.. nice chat.

  had a lot to say, is alone, his sick wife disabled and away from home.. he told me: "living alone is so hard.

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  Sail Away

  I only have contact with one active JW in her early 80's. She has admitted that she will likely die before Armageddon, but you know, "We have to stay faithful to the end." Funny thing is, she just told be, that I'm the only one who has ever been there for her, and she only trusts me to care of her when she gets sick. She knows I walked away nearly 7 years ago now. She's pretty much a fruit loop, and ignored by her congregation, but she's my fruitloop.

  Something is up with Mr. Sail Away's 90-year-old Dad. He isn't listening to the elders and is listening to the son he shunned for nearly 50 years. The only comment so far was, "We don't always agree with the administration of Jehovah's organization, but that's where faith comes in."
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  28

  Why do ex-JW's talk so much about being ex-JW's?

  by Sour Grapes in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  is it because we were in the cult watchtower compound that we talk about being ex-jw's when we stop being active?

  i have never heard anyone say that i was an ex-catholic or an ex-lutheran or an ex-baptist.

  they just stop going to their church and don't talk about it.. years after not stepping inside a kingdom hell, many of us still have to talk about being ex-jw's.

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  Sail Away

  Maybe it's a generational thing? Both of our born-in, baptized adult children (Millennials) walked away and never looked back.

  Mr. Sail Away posts on reddit. He and I both lived through the 1975 fiasco, the Malawi persecution scam, were denied college educations and believed we had to conform to restrictive bedroom rules for couples, dating and married. Also, my husband was shunned for nearly 50 years by his JW parents until very recently when the local elders demanded that he, their only son, step up and take care of his aging parents.

  We paid for our daughter's college education, even though I was still in, because I didn't want her to limit her potential.

  Our son suffered tremendously and was DF'd. I refused to shun him and walked away. It took him about 10 years, and he is so much better now, but that is his story to tell someday, or not.
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  10

  On Grief and Loss

  by jp1692 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  on grief and loss.

  each and every tear is a memory.

  and when you feel so intensely all that you have lost, you are also remembering everything that you have had.

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  Sail Away

  Thank you, jp
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  34

  Did You Go To Meetings in Very Inclement Weather?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  living in new england means having lots of snow and cold.

  elders were very reluctant to cancel or reschedule a meeting due to the weather.

  i lived 3 towns away from the kingdom hall and if it was icy and treacherous my vote would always be to cancel the meeting....and forget about rescheduling!.

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  Sail Away

  I live in New England and agree that the trend was an increase in cancellations due to inclement weather from pre-1975 (unheard of) to 2011 (routine) when I left.

  As a "sister with an unbelieving mate" and two children I raised in The Lie, I leaned toward caution about driving at night in bad weather, but I was a fruitcake and went out in service on holidays and during snowstorms!

  I pioneered in seldom-worked territory in the Midwest, USA in the mid-70's, and don't ever remember a cancelled meeting or field service. My pioneer partner got frostbite, and I landed in the hospital for 11 days with pneumonia. Thankfully, that put an end to my FT pioneer career until after my kids were grown.

  I won't be venturing out now until the temps rise above freezing. I don't care if it takes 'til Spriing! Oh, and I rarely go out at night alone. I abhor it!
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  29

  Anxiety, OCD, Hoarding, and the JWs

  by Spiral in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i'm noticing what seems to be a higher incidence of the above among the local jws than in the "general" (read: worldly) population.

  i don't say this lightly, my wanderings around the fringes of jw society locally is revealing an alarming trend here.

  the poverty doesn't help (there are good jobs, but you need a degree or qualifications to get one).. anyone else see this?

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  Sail Away

  Sail Away - the subject of giving talks and speaking came up the other day. I just said (here's a new thought!) that I didn't see the purpose of it so therefore hadn't given a talk in years. Since everything is set out before you give the "talk", there's really no point, is there? Why make anyone do that, if they aren't comfortable with doing it? Practicing a sham type of "public speaking" isn't something I need to do. Now THAT was a conversation stopper. --Spiral

  Brilliant!
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  45

  COLD today

  by wasone in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it's a cold 13 degrees fahrenheit in tennessee this morning where i live.

  glad i'm retired and don't have to work outside today.

  what about where you live.

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  Sail Away

  LisaRose, sorry you got sick during your visit. I was still in Florida for the frigid cold you experienced. I really considered staying put, but temps were dropping there too, and it got rainy, so I flew home in time for a blizzard. Maybe not my best decision, but it's home.

  I've experienced an earthquake while in Guatemala. Kind of creepy. I prefer nor'easters, hurricanes and blizzards. That said we've had a couple of micobursts-- one tore up my sister's wedding tents, tables, chairs, etc. in our backyard the morning of the ceremony and another unceremoniously tore ten sailboats off their moorings and chucked them onto the beaches in our town in a heartbeat. I would never want to experience a tornado or the wildfires they are having in California!

  Stay safe!

  Diane
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  45

  COLD today

  by wasone in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it's a cold 13 degrees fahrenheit in tennessee this morning where i live.

  glad i'm retired and don't have to work outside today.

  what about where you live.

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  Sail Away

  Blizzard today in Southern Connecticut, USA with sub zero wind chills predicted and a foot of snow, but nowhere near as bad as where my 90-year-old JW in-laws live in Fredonia, New York. They are only an hour north of Eire, Pennsylvania where they have had 7 feet of snow since Christmas!
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  29

  Anxiety, OCD, Hoarding, and the JWs

  by Spiral in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i'm noticing what seems to be a higher incidence of the above among the local jws than in the "general" (read: worldly) population.

  i don't say this lightly, my wanderings around the fringes of jw society locally is revealing an alarming trend here.

  the poverty doesn't help (there are good jobs, but you need a degree or qualifications to get one).. anyone else see this?

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  Sail Away

  I have been highly stressed. I feel like I'm handling things fairly well, but then I start having nightmares in which I begin to have panic attacks. I have lucid dreams, so I can often wake myself up or change something in the dream to ease the painic.

  The triggers for this always seem to be related to situations where I have little or no control or say, such as while going through TSA check points or customs and immigration at large international airports when the agents are harried and yelling at paying customers. I get overwhelmed and confused which doesn't help. Even thinking of public speaking does it too.

  I was having panic attacks and or dissociating during ministry school talks during the last 10 of my 42 years in. Think about how much they controlled even in that one situation-- as a sister, they assigned your partner, your counsel point, the theme, the setting (Our school overseer seemed to get perverse pleasure from pairing you up with an inappropriate partner for the given material or a bizarre setting that would just never happen.), the material, the number of scriptures (not more than 3), the structure (intro, body, conclusion), notes or outlines only, no scripts (extemperaneous speaking preferred) and the timing with that damned bell. Don't even get me started on the control around assemblies and conventions.

  I just got back from a trip overseas to visit family. My husband couldn't go, because of work and caring for his elderly parents. I don't fly internationally with my service dog (too fearful of what might happen to her.)

  Today there is no food in the house, a blizzard is coming tonight, and I'm immobilized with my service dog on my lap on my couch, intermittently crying and shaking.

  I've been in therapy since 2012 for PTSD and generalised anxiety disorder, and I've been out of the Borg for over six years.